Laguna
by Wind Maester
Summary: Sometimes, I wonder, in all my 44 years on earth, this Gaia, have I ever done something that I truly wished I hadn’t?


**~~Laguna~~**

Sometimes, I wonder, in all my 44 years on earth, this Gaia, have I ever done something that I truly wished I hadn't?

My answer would probably be a yes. 

Perhaps then I hadn't thought of the consequences. Fate has a way of twisting us into situations where either way I go would have disastrous results. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. There isn't a way where you could have a win-win situation. Fate plays with us like puppets. Cruel huh? 

I may be the richest man alive now, but what's the use of money when you know you can't turn back time? I laughed bitterly at my reflection as I glanced out of the window, with the whole Esthar city view lying before me. I live frugally for a president, saving every cent I make. Not that I am a scrooge, but I just feel that I should save for my son, even though he doesn't want a father like me. My riches cannot make up for his lack of parental love.

He needed it, but I wasn't there for him, not even when his mother was on her deathbed. I just wasn't there.

Perhaps I would never be able to seek his forgiveness. He had his mother's stubborn streak, which I loved and adored, yet got annoyed at. Once he made up his mind about me, I guess it's for life. He might listen to my lame excuse, but he'd not bother about it. What's the difference if he'd listen but not care?

I never meant to leave Winhill, but the villagers there were overbearing. Always wanting me to leave Raine, even though we got married. Right in their hearts, they've always felt I was an outcast, a nobody, not fit for Raine. Her suitors told me right in the face on the eve of our wedding. 

"You, You. Lag. something!! You are such a toad to be leaping for Raine!! Can't you even leave her alone?"

The villagers commented about my existence.

"Aren't you living off Raine being here? You oughta leave this village!"

Even the kind old flower lady down the street suggested I leave the town.

"This village is too small for a person like you. Do you have plans to leave?"

The village couldn't take another person like me. Raine told me to ignore the petty remarks, but I knew deep down she had also taken their words seriously, for they were her age-old neighbours. Who else could she turn for advice?

An orphan raised by the flower lady, she had been part of the town for all her life. Suddenly she falls in love with a foreign man, and her life goes topsy-turvy. I couldn't bear to see her struggle, sandwiched between her closest relatives and me.

I finally suggested that both of us leave, but she was adamant to stay, that she wouldn't be accustomed to the lives outside Winhill. She had loved to hear about my adventures, but she wasn't willing to participate in it. Said that she had a weak heart. Gave a lot of excuses not to leave. I didn't realise it was all for another reason that she chose to stay. Her unborn son. She would not risk it to the world. I should have known that she'd want to go with me to explore the worlds, but I was blinded. I should have known she couldn't be so timid. She was the bravest woman I had met.

Had I insisted the truth, I would have never left, even at the expense of the villagers' criticism. Damn those villagers. I'd never leave my pregnant wife. Damn myself. I was too selfish. With the sarcastic remarks the villagers had, it spurred me to get on with my illustrious life, ultimately to Esthar. I wanted to go back for Raine, to tell her proudly of my achievements, but I was tad bit too late. A few months before Adel was overridden, I heard Raine had passed away. There was news of a son, but I simply assumed it was pure rumour, that Raine should have told me when I was around. I never bothered to ask what she died of. Some told me it was heart problem, some mentioned a fall down the stairs and landing on her head. Neither was the truth. She had died giving birth to my son.

Stupid me. Why had I left the village? Why didn't I ask her about her pregnancy? All the while she was nauseous, but I hadn't thought too much about that. Why hadn't she told me? It's all these questions that consume me at night, thinking too much about the past. Gazing at the lone reflection in front of Esthar city, I watched my tears form, before letting go a solitary teardrop onto the window panel.

The knock on the door disrupted my thoughts, as I hastily wiped away my tears, though it wasn't necessary. I knew it was Kiros. "Kiros, what is it?" I tried to conceal the grief in my voice, but I guess he knew it anyway.

He didn't bother to come in. "Laguna, your aircraft is set for Winhill," the familiar voice came from behind the door, "you get ready in a moment, will you?" The footsteps faded after awhile.

I had nothing much to prepare, now in my favourite blue shirt and khaki slacks. And my chain. It was of little monetary worth, but I valued it with my life. In our few short months of marriage, it was the only thing Raine gave me for keepsakes. On it were our names. Laguna and Raine Loire. The bouquet was on the sofa. I was ready.

********

Travelling on Ragnarok II was not the same as the original one. Designed and built to be better equipped and faster than the old Ragnarok, it now had safety caches to prevent attacks from Propagators. But it didn't make a difference to the scenery outside Ragnarok II, or maybe the scenes outside of were rapidly changing too quickly from the orange barren lands of the Esthar Continent to the green fields near Galbadia for me to notice. The skies remained the same azure blue - it was the same everywhere. People are living under one lunar moon, why had our lives become so different?

The large moon, still visible in the sun, taunted me of my past that I could never go back to atone for my ignorance.

The sudden buzzing of the intercom shook myself from the thoughts I had formed gazing out of the window. "Ragnarok II approaching Winhill, please remain in the conference room for landing," it crackled noisily. Almost immediately, the aircraft swooped downwards, turning a helix down to the ground, amidst the tall cliffs and valleys that had formed around Winhill, a natural barrier to human invasion.

*******

Winhill had not changed much since I last saw it eighteen years ago. Eighteen years, an eternity until I gathered my courage to come back. Eighteen years, an eternity too late to reconcile with my son. Eighteen years, an eternity too late to visit my wife.

The green hills just on the outskirts were blossoming with tulips, Raine's favourite flower. A gentle breeze caressed the swaying bulbs, dancing to their own tunes of the wind. Raine's grave was in sight, her simple stone tablet inscribed with her name and her existence. Raine Loire. At least the villagers were kind enough to leave my name with her, and I sincerely thanked them with my heart, for acknowledging her as my wife. 

Kneeling down, I brushed the dirt amassing on the grave, and laid my flowers beside them. Tulips. I had personally handpicked her favourite colours, particularly orange, and had it wrapped in only a simple foil. That was Raine, who liked things the way it was. 

I stood up again, my hand shielding my face from the sunlight. Ellone was on top of the hill, with Kiros and Ward behind her, their arms clasped before their chests, bodyguards of Ellone.

"Uncle Laguna!!" Her delicate voice floated towards me, her green shawl sliding back onto her bare shoulders as she raised her hand to wave at me. She was smiling as she trailed down towards Raine's grave, coming to pay respect to her beloved aunt, her caretaker since she was a baby. In her hands were tulips. Orange ones.

In the spring breezy air, I watched Ellone kneel before her aunt's grave, whispering to her. I watched afar the tree leaves rustle in rhythm to our heartbeats. I watched the fields expand out far, their boundaries knowing no limits.

I watched Balamb Garden manoeuvre herself past the valleys into Galbadian territories. I saw the swirling rings about her float magnificently. In it, I saw my son overseeing the airship, and felt a sense of pride. My son.

Ellone saw the hovercraft too, and she knew exactly what I was thinking. Squall. "You know, he's not that stubborn after all, Uncle." She smiled at the thought of her brother.

We were silent amidst the fields of Winhill, gazing at the dirigible fading into the horizon. 

You know, Ellone could be right. Things have changed. My son could give me a chance.

My son.

~Fin~

Author's notes: Hmm, the second of the series of the game endings I wrote, after 'Seifer'. I've never tried writing Laguna's POV before, so it's a new start. Please R & R!! I hope it's okay. No rotten vegetables please!! Thanks for reviewing my last few stories!!


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